


"Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time."

by Bixiayu



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Boyfriends, Comfort, Cute Peter, Cute Wade, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Height Differences, M/M, Theyre human, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wade hides peters things, Wade is a jerk, peter hates being short, so much love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 16:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11017059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bixiayu/pseuds/Bixiayu
Summary: Wade loves taking advantage of Peter's height to pull off his endless shenanigans.





	"Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time."

_"Wade Winston Wilson!"_  
  
Peter was tired of this. Ever since he moved in with Wade a couple months ago, all of his valuable items seemed to go missing. Whether it was his camera, his phone, or even a pair of socks, they would somehow vanish when he woke up in the morning. In the beginning, it took him a couple hours just to _locate_ them. Then eventually, he got used to Wade's constant harassment. He would instinctively move his short legs into the kitchen and try to peek up to the place where Wade always put his things.

  
_On the highest shelf_  
  
_Sometimes not even on the highest shelf, just anywhere Peter couldn't reach._  
  
Wade always found a way to slip it up there whenever his boyfriend wasn't looking. He knew it was awfully sadistic, but he loved watching Peter's tiny body struggle to even climb on the counters to _attempt_ to reach the shelf. He knew he shouldn’t be laughing, but it was so fucking hilarious because even when Peter was on the counter, he still couldn't reach the shelf.  
  
Peter's hands were crossed over his chest as he waited for Wade to come to him. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Wilson skip innocently into the kitchen. He had that stupid grin plastered on his face as he leaned on a kitchen counter. His hazel eyes were staring lovingly at Peter. "Yes, Baby boy?" He mused. "Is there something wrong?"  
  
A sigh of annoyance came from the brunette's lips. "You already know what it is." He said, trying to keep his voice as leveled as possible. This whole routine was exhausting, he wanted it to end already. He figured out that Wade must of placed his camera up there last night while he was sleeping. If Wade didn't stop with hiding his camera, Peter knew that he was probably going to get fired from the bugle. He was already running late, again.  
  
This wouldn't be the first time because his camera suddenly “ _disappeared_ .”  
  
"I...umm..." Wade began, biting his lip to hide the smile growing on his face. God, Peter looked so fucking cute. He was pouting and had his arms crossed over his chest, but to Wade, more like jacket sleeves. He could easily tell that his boyfriend was wearing his clothes because his hands were hidden within the long sleeves.  
  
"I don't think I understand what you're talking about..." In all honesty, he did know. He just wanted Peter to admit he needed his help. It was nice to know that his boyfriend depended on him, sure it made him feel like a shit person, but anyone could tell that Peter was better than him in every single way. It was a cold comfort to Wade when he knew that he was able to help his baby boy with one thing.  
  
"Wade." Peter sighed, pointing to the shelf where he saw his camera lens poke out. "I'm serious... You gotta stop doing this to me."  
  
"Stop doing what?"  
  
"This!" Peter exclaimed, directing both of his hands towards the shelf. "Putting my things on the shelves where you know I can't reach!"  
  
"Awwww." Wade gushed, taking a couple steps closer to Peter. "You're so cute... you look almost tall enough to be taken seriously." He tried wrapping his arm around his boyfriend's waist, but it was smacked off.  
  
_Wade seriously couldn't tell if Peter was actually angry with him or not._  
  
"No!" Peter pouted. "Just because you're extremely tall, that doesn't mean that I'm short."  
  
"The only reason why one of your steps equals three of mine is because you have freakishly long legs."  
  
"Really?" Wade asked, raising an eyebrow. An all too familiar sly smile rose to the corners of his lips. He loved it when Peter denied his shortness. It was amusing to Wilson whenever he could shower the brunette with facts on why he actually was considered short.  
  
"Then why do my oversized sweaters look like dresses on you?" He questioned. He adored the lazy Saturday mornings when Peter would be padding along the carpet of their home in one of Wade's oversized shirts, hoodies, or sweatshirts. It looked like a thick dress was engulfing his tiny frame as his small arms would disappear into the sleeves.  
  
"Or y'know..." He continued. "How I somehow manage to lose you in crowds of children?"  
  
"And when you're sitting on a chair or on the couch and your feet don't even touch the ground?"  
  
Peter let out a small huff, looking away from Wade. He knew that if he continued this conversation he would be here for hours. "Fine, you've made your point you Giraffe." He said. "I'll just have to do it myself."  
  
All Wade did was raise and eyebrow as he watched his boyfriend shrug off his backpack and make his way towards their dining room.  
  
A few moments later, he came back dragging a wooden chair with him as he lined it directly under the shelf.  
  
_'This was going to be good.'_  
  
He took one hesitant step onto the chair, trying to keep his balance. Then, the tiny brunette and stood on the tip toes of his converse as he desperately tried to reach his camera.  
  
Peter knew he was so close. He could feel his fingertips grazing over the lens. He would have to find a way to hide his camera later. If he did reach it, Wade would try to hide it on a higher shelf later tonight.

 

 _'Almost there...'_  
  
Small grunts were escaping his lips as he tried to reach. His arms were growing tired as they were desperately reaching over his head to grab the object.

 

 _He was doing pretty well until he lost his balance and began to fall backwards._  
  
"Fuck!"  
  
He could've sworn he saw his life flash before his eyes as his stomach rose higher in his chest. His arms were fidgeting rapidly as he was trying to have something to hold onto, but of course, nothing was in reach.  
  
He was expecting the worst, like a fractured skull, a broken arm, or a broken leg. But instead, he was caught bridal style inside of a large and warm pair of arms.  
  
"What the hell was that? Are you okay?" The voice asked.  
  
"No, I'm not okay." Peter mumbled, giving his full attention to Wade. "I could've died! All because you won't stop teasing me about my height."

 

He had been laughed at about his height all throughout his life. It even earned him nicknames such as short stop, pipsqueak, and fun sized by the other kids at school. And Wade's constant jokes didn't make it any better.  
  
"Look I'm sorry, okay?" Wade said, kissing Peter's forehead. He didn't notice that Peter had almost gotten hurt because of him, he didn't think that his baby boy would _actually_ try to get it. "I'll stop placing your stuff on high shelves."  
  
"You've said that before."  
  
"But… This time, I promise..." He said.  
  
Peter crossed his arms, letting out a huff in response.  
"Put me down." He ordered, turning his gaze away from his boyfriend.  
  
"Come on, Pete..." Wade reassured. "Don't be sad... there's nothing wrong with being a little short."  
  
"You're the perfect spooning size." He continued. "Your body fits nicely into mine."  
  
"And there is no blanket that will ever be too short for you."  
  
"Not to mention, you could seriously fall asleep anywhere. How awesome is that?"  
  
The brunette turned his head towards his boyfriend. "That's not going to help me get the pickles off of the shelf." He muttered.  
  
"Well..." Wade grinned. "You know that I'll be here for you. Just call me and I'll be there, always."  
  
"Thanks, Giant." Peter said, trying to squirm out of Wade's hold. "Now please, get my camera. And put me down...I have to get to work."  
  
"No..." Wade moaned, placing kisses all over the birthmarks on Peter's neck. His grip tightened the longer he held him in his arms.  
  
"Come on..." He begged. "Just stay home with me for a little while... we can cuddle for only five minutes..."  
  
"What always happens at the end of a cuddle?" Peter asked. "And if I'm late, again, my boss is going to kill me… twice."  
  
"What if you take a sick day?" He asked, tossing Peter's body over his shoulders like he was a small rag doll.  
  
The brunette stated struggling in Wade's grip. It was actually frightening to be this high off of the ground. He kept hitting his boyfriend's chest with the palm of his hands. "Put me down, now!" He said, but it was no use.  
  
"Come on..." The velvet voice whispered. "Only for a little while, and then you can go to work, okay?"  
  
Peter sighed in defeat as he relaxed all of his limbs. His face was pressed into Wade's shoulders as he was being carried off into their bedroom.  
  
"Don't you love what happens after a cuddle?" Wade mused, a half smile rising to the left side of his face. "I'm pretty sure we'll have a lot of fun inside of the bedroom anyways..."  
  
The brunette lifted his head and turned it towards Wade's, laying dozens of sweet kisses on the stubble on his face.  
  
It seemed like his boyfriend's happiness was contagious because Peter felt the same grin rise on his face too.  
  
"Well then..." He murmured. _"Don't threaten me with a good time..."_

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comment if you enjoyed!


End file.
